The mum who raised me, the mum I’m becoming, and everything in between
Mother’s Day has never been just one thing.
It’s not just flowers and cards and breakfast in bed — although those moments are lovely in their own way.
It’s a day that carries layers. Memories. Emotions. Gratitude. Sometimes grief. Sometimes longing. Sometimes a quiet kind of reflection that sits somewhere in between it all.
And over time, I’ve realised… motherhood isn’t one single story.
It’s a collection of them.
💛 The Mum Who Raised Me
There are so many parts of who I am that started long before I even realised they were being shaped.
The way I do things.
The way I care.
The way I show up for the people I love.
So much of that comes from her.
I can’t really pinpoint one specific memory — it’s more like a collection of moments that all blur together into something warm and familiar.
There was always laughter.
From the time I was learning to ride a bike and somehow ended up riding straight into a tree…
to sitting on the old wooden garden table with the family dog, only for it to collapse and me quite literally fold in half.
Those are the moments that stick.
Not perfect, not polished — just real, chaotic, and full of laughter.
But there were also the harder moments.
Being her rock through one of the hardest times in our lives when my dad passed away…
while also, in the same breath, giving her a reason to keep going — her first grandbaby.
That balance of strength and love is something I don’t think I fully understood at the time.
And of course… we had our teenage years.
The arguments.
The slammed doors.
The “I hate you” and “I wish you weren’t my mum” moments that feel so big at the time.
But deep down, I always knew.
She was the best.
These days, our relationship has shifted into something new.
Half mother and daughter… half co-workers, with her as my supervisor.
And honestly?
We laugh more now than ever.
Somehow, we’ve gone from those chaotic, emotional years…
to working side by side as a kitchen team — and it just works.
🌱 Lessons I Didn’t Realise I Was Learning
It’s funny how the things you grow up with quietly become part of you.
The little habits.
The way you speak.
The way you comfort someone.
The way you handle hard days.
You don’t always notice it at the time.
But one day, you catch yourself doing something and think…
“Oh… that’s her.”
And there’s something strangely comforting about that.
🤍 Becoming a Mum Myself
Becoming a mum didn’t feel like one clear, defining moment for me.
When I had my eldest, I was still in the middle of grieving my dad.
Everything felt like a blur.
I knew the basics — working as a nursery assistant meant I understood how to care for a baby.
But nothing prepares you for the reality of it.
The exhaustion.
The no sleep.
The constant responsibility that never really switches off.
And then came the toddler stage.
The frustration.
The moments where he couldn’t communicate and would hit his head on the floor because he didn’t know how else to express what he was feeling.
That was a whole different kind of heartbreak.
As he got older and we reached school age, being told he needed an autism/ADHD assessment opened up a whole new set of emotions.
Questions.
Worry.
Overthinking everything.
And all of that was happening while I was pregnant with my youngest.
I remember wondering how he would cope with such a big change.
How it would affect him.
How I was going to balance everything.
But somehow… you do.
You just find a way.
Now, their relationship is like any other set of brothers.
There’s still fighting, still chaos, still those everyday moments.
We’re still waiting on that assessment (don’t even get me started on that process)…
But he’s now at a special educational needs school, and the difference it’s made has been incredible.
And as a mum, I’ve just had to learn to adapt.
To keep things moving.
To find calm in the chaos.
To figure things out as we go.
And sometimes, in the middle of it all…
I catch little glimpses of her in me.
In the way I keep going.
In the way I hold everything together when things feel heavy.
And that’s when it really hits.
I’m not just raising them.
I’m becoming her, in all the ways that matter.
🌿 The Mum I’m Still Becoming
I don’t think we ever fully arrive at “this is the kind of mum I am.”
We’re always becoming.
Some days I feel like I’ve got it together.
Other days… not so much.
Some days are patient and soft.
Others are loud, messy, overwhelming.
And all of it counts.
Because motherhood isn’t about perfection.
It’s about showing up — again and again — even on the days that feel heavy.
🫶 The Real, Messy, Beautiful Bits
Motherhood isn’t always picture-perfect — no matter what social media, influencers, or those “perfect” mummy groups might try to make it seem.
The ones where everything has to be organic, perfectly planned, no sugar, no mess, no chaos…
just no.
Because real life doesn’t look like that.
And honestly?
I can see from work what that kind of pressure can do to young children — and it breaks my heart.
Motherhood isn’t about raising perfect little humans who fit into a box.
It’s about raising happy, safe, loved children — in a home that feels real.
It’s:
- tired mornings
- messy homes
- repeating yourself 47 times a day
- refereeing sibling fights
- changing meal plans just to keep everyone happy
- feeling touched out
- suddenly feeling overwhelmed with love in the smallest moment
- living in comfy clothes more than you’d like to admit
It’s chaos and calm, often in the same breath.
And somewhere in the middle of all that…
you’re building something really special.
Even if it doesn’t always feel like it in the moment.
🤍 For Those Who Feel Something Different Today
Mother’s Day can be a lot of things.
For some, it’s joyful.
For others, it’s complicated.
For some, it’s heavy.
It might be:
- missing your mum
- having a strained relationship
- wanting to be a mum but not there yet
- navigating loss, grief, or distance
And if that’s you — I just want to say:
You are not forgotten in this space.
Today doesn’t have to look a certain way.
You’re allowed to feel however you feel.
🌸 In All Its Forms
Motherhood is not one shape.
It’s not one path.
It’s not one experience.
It’s layered.
It’s evolving.
It’s deeply personal.
For me, today is about holding space for all of it.
The mum who raised me.
The mum I am.
And the mum I’m still becoming.
💬 Final Thoughts & Come Chat
However today feels for you — whether it’s full of love, quiet reflection, or something harder to name…
I see you 🤍
Motherhood, in all its forms, deserves to be acknowledged.
What does motherhood mean to you — in your life, your memories, or your hopes?
Between the Pages & Pixels 